I know it, I can feel it, I can see it because it is me

For a while now I have been pondering the details of my brand . . . what is interesting about this whole exercise is that I detest being inauthentic, it really bothers me.  Case in point, I am prematurely gray, on a whim I dyed my hair and despite all of the compliments and my own admission that I looked younger, I am growing it back out because roots REALLY bug me.

I know what my brand looks like, it’s just a bit of a challenge to get it out of my head and in to the physical world.  My biggest obstacle would have to be the financial aspect of this all with time being a very close second.  I know how my home office (read desk) should look, I know what my ideal wardrobe would be, we’ve already established that the hair stays silver but the length is ever changing.  I have been working on my two websites for a while now, some times I make a lot of traction and feel that I have found the right theme and only need to make a few minor adjustments.  Well, those minor adjustments can easily take up an entire weekend, especially for someone who does not code and has not done anything similar for about six or seven years.  I’ve also sketched up a few new/updated logos and either I need to head to a computer with Adobe Creative Suite or share the sketches with one of a few people that I have spoken with who can probably knock them out quickly for a reasonable price.  I am sure that I can and will make more money but I have serious doubts about having more time anytime soon.

But the big kicker about building your brand if you are like me and have problems faking it until it is real is that if your brand is REALLY you the exercise then becomes about defining yourself, deciding what you want to be when you grow up and there is also a fear the embracing said brand will place limitations on a person (myself) who really does NOT like restrictions.  I know who I am, what colors I respond to, what activities I am really good at and which ones I am truly passionate about.  What I don’t know is how to share this information in such a manner that is does not place me in my own custom pigeon hole.  Today I was reminded of one of the first times I caught a glimpse of my talent . . . I want to feel that way again, and I want to feel that way in a professional capacity, so the motivation is there.


It is very likely that I will never be in a position where I have nothing to do or to work on, I just don’t think that I am wired like that.  This current phase of my life is no exception, I’m working on quite a bit, I just haven’t been talking about it.


Not, “not blogging about it” I literally mean not talking about it. Sometimes when I talk about something, saying it aloud and going into lots of details I get inspired to do even more and other times when I do that I got it out of my system and something in me seems to think that it can be crossed off of my things to do list and there it sits, waiting until the realization hits me that I still have to do it.

So there you have it, I’m working.  The hope is that 2015 will have many changes in it, changes for the absolute best because 14 peaked and then did a nose dive.  I’m not beating myself up though because the peaks of 14 and 13 were all well in the making for many years prior.  I think that is the part of success that sometimes even the successful forget.  Success takes a lot of work and that work may go on for years before the success is fully realized.  You just have to keep working.

not my circus

I don’t know a person who hasn’t needed help at some point in time or another,  I would even argue that one of my successes in life has been building a network of people who I don’t mind helping and who are able to help me.  But from time to time I’ve come across that person. . . this person always seems to have some sort of drama or issue that they need help with and 1. this amount of drama is simply not cool to dump on anyone else and 2. they never intend or are capable of helping out with this level of a mess.


When I first came across this phrase (on Facebook) I burst into laughter and very quickly it because my favorite saying, “Not my circus, not my monkey.”


Admittedly I have become more selective with how I spend my time.  There are always friends in need, there is frequently some level of drama to be found and there are always projects that require my time.  In the past I would become stressed out trying to do everything and please everyone and help everyone, all at the same time.  Then, like so many before me, I learned the art of saying no.  I still help people, often even people from whom I do not need anything in the foreseeable future; but because I have been honest with myself about my limitations I have also learned to help myself.  Some problems I am simply not qualified to handle but perhaps someone in my circle is that I could refer them to.

But this phrase isn’t about those problems, this is about the people who have constant drama or whose procrastination or unorganized nature makes everything an emergency.  Generally speaking you would be doing yourself to always fall into the trap of cleaning up the mess that they may not even recognize as a mess; and in the mean time your obligations and projects sit on the shelf just waiting.  No matter the guilt trip that may or may not accompany your decision, you are not obligated to run in and fix someone else’s mess . . . depending on your circle of friends you may however want to buy a ticket to see the show.


imagesIf only everyone had the problem of their “sleep in” day being cut short because someone that they loved wanted to wish them a happy birthday.  I don’t have any real problems, I have things that I would like to change; but I do not have any problems.  A year ago there were a lot of really good things culminating. This year I’m a looking back with a feeling of pride and I’m looking forward wishing that this year holds either all of the hard-work-requiring culmination or half of the pride and accomplishment.  I am grateful that I can make the wish and even more I’m grateful that I learned that lots and lots of hard work really can pay off.

what is my brand?

I’ve given some thought to this and I have decided to keep my blog, that is the good news.  The exciting news is that I am going to change it!  I’m just not exactly sure how at this moment.

When it comes to my website (read blog) I have always had big plans and at different times my technological skills have been just shy of being able to accomplish said plans; plug-ins have come a long way and maybe my expectations have become a little more realistic so the odds are now that I’ll come closer to the dream site that I (with the help of many-a-forums) can build.  The daunting task now is not whether or not I can hack some simple codex, now my task is to think of what it is that I want to put out in the world.

There is a high probability that I will not be posting about what I ate, an even greater chance that I will not be posting a pic of my outfit du jour.  I WILL most likely be posting about design, design trends, gardening, occasionally I may post a recipe that I have actually made and that blew my socks off.  There will likely be some sort of knitting project. . . . I doubt that I will get into as much poetry that I did when I was writing under a pen name but I would like to touch on various topics pertaining to communication.  Basically my new blog will be about many of my interests but will not be quite as personal as it may have been in the past.

Nothing stays the same and eventually this too will likely evolve into something different, for now I’m really deciding what pars of me I want to include in “my brand”; what makes sense to share with the world and how exactly can I do this in a way that will be beneficial to me and might possibly help someone else or maybe even entertain them??  I need to give them some thought.